Small talk is BIG
Small talk serves an important social function and should not be dismissed as meaningless chatter.
The phrase “How about this weather?” is uttered (an estimated) 300 million times a day. Any idea why? Small talk serves an important social function and should not be dismissed as meaningless chatter.
We no longer share a monolithic pop culture with limited media options. Our world contains endless wonderful and not-so-wonderful distractions: thousands of TV shows, billions of TikTok users, and millions of podcasts. The only universal experience connecting us all is the weather. The common ground we once shared as a culture has diminished. In our fragmented world of niche media and social bubbles, small talk is one of the few remaining universals connecting us.
For podcasters, small talk warms up guests and sets the right tone (Pro Tip: Never small talk a topic you will discuss on-air — guests will reference it, leaving audiences confused). In my disastrous Taylor Swift interview on 95.5 PLJ in New York City, I avoided small talk and pestered her publicist with inane questions. The interview was boring; had I engaged in small talk, it could have been far more interesting.
At that time, most of the biggest morning radio shows were being recorded on video and then posted online, so fans could see their favorite stars be interviewed. The biggest of the big, Howard Stern, was one of the first to pioneer this practice. Naturally, we wanted to video the Taylor Swift interview. But we were told by her team before she came in that we were only allowed to put the first five minutes of her interview on video.
This struck us as a little weird. We could video the whole interview but only post the first five minutes. It seemed incredibly arbitrary to me at the time, as well as insanely irritating. But her team said, “Take it or leave it,” and in my head, I was thinking, “Fine,” in that snarky way you use when you must accept something you don’t like.
Finally, Taylor Swift came into the studio, and she was very sweet. Her publicist made a beeline for the videographer who shot the show for the Internet. And just minutes before the interview was about to start, the publicist chirped, “Hey, guys, just a reminder, we’re only going to shoot the first five minutes of this.”
Oh.
So now we can’t even video the rest of the interview? My irritation blossomed into annoyance and maybe just a hint of anger. In the back of my mind, I was thinking we’d be able to record the entire interview and maybe talk them into letting us use the whole thing. That option was suddenly off the table.
I tried a workaround. I asked, “Hey, just out of curiosity, near the end of those five minutes, if we ask a follow-up question to one of her answers, would it be okay to keep recording?” The publicist was a little flustered. She said, “Yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess so.” And then I pushed a little harder. “And what if we have a follow-up question to that follow-up question? Would we still be able to keep recording?” The publicist grew more confused. “Uh … yeah, I guess so.”
And that was the point where Swift, listening to all this, figured out that I was being a dick. “Well, somebody’s being very saucy this morning,” she said.
After that remark, I was smart enough to quit while I was ahead. However, the damage had been done. There was no way to shake it off.
In today’s fragmented world, mundane commonalities are more valuable than ever. Rather than dismissing questions about the weather or weekends as empty chatter, recognize how small talk stitches together the social fabric. Finding shared experiences or interests, however trivial, builds rapport and cohesion, which are essential to communities and relationships. So next time, don’t brush off “How about this weather?” as mere idle banter.
Small talk is not meaningless, but crucial in connecting people amid countless distractions and diverging interests. It establishes common ground and lays the foundation for meaningful interactions, even in an increasingly fragmented world.
If you want to go big, you have to start small.
How about “How’s the baby?” My guest on the podcast this week was about to give birth just a few days after we recorded our chat.
Danielle Brown is the founder of HealthyGirl Kitchen and the author of the new cookbook, HealthyGirl Kitchen: 100+ Plant-Based Recipes to Live Your Healthiest Life.
As a passionate vegan influencer, Danielle has built a massive online community of like-minded individuals who share her passion for healthy and delicious plant-based eating. In our talk, she shares her secrets for building a strong online following, connecting with an audience, and creating content that resonates with people.
Tune in as Danielle shares her inspiring story of how she turned her passion for veganism into a thriving business, and how she's helping others to live their healthiest, happiest lives through the power of plant-based eating.
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